Hiya, and welcome to my blog.
Before I begin, there are a couple of quick introductions I need to make.
Reader(s), meet Silent D. Silent D is the energy sucking, brain fogging subject of my blog; whose hobbies include, defecating over all my plans and generally making me feel like shit. You may know Silent D by her official name – depression.
Silent D first took up residence in my head when I was around 13 years old, and she’s been ignoring my eviction notices ever since.
Now meet Me. Me is…..well, me. The writer of this blog. My official name is Caroline. On the surface, I’m your average 31 year old woman. Beneath the surface, I’m am insecure and self loathing wreck. If you met me in person, you would only see average me. I smile a lot, and I would spend the majority of the time trying to make you laugh, with my bad jokes and funny stories. In short, I would try my best to make you like me.
And that’s why I call my depression Silent D.
I don’t tell anyone when I’m struggling, and just going to the shops is a battle in itself. I don’t tell anyone when I have a weak moment, and my hand briefly hovers over the painkillers in the cupboard.
I don’t tell anyone because: a) the last thing people want to hear is other peoples’ problems, b) unfortunately, there’s still stigma attached to mental health issues, c) I feel ashamed of myself – particularly in regards to the painkillers in the cupboard stuff and d) I don’t want to frighten or worry the people I care about.
So I lock up all that horrible stuff, and put on my “happy” face. And it’s bloody exhausting.
Why have I decided to come out from under my rock, and speak about all of this on a public blog? Because I want to raise awareness of mental health issues, and connect with other people who live with mental health issues.
I want to break free of stigma, and address the deadly elephant in the room.
Now I can’t promise you a smooth ride (I can’t even make that promise to myself), but I can promise you honesty, maybe a few laughs, and probably a few tears (but I’ll try to compose myself long enough to write my posts.)
So that’s a little bit about Silent D and Me. Thank you for your time, and I hope you enjoy reading my blog.
See you soon.
Caroline AKA Me xx