Hello Darkness, My Old Friend: Part Three



I was wobbly on my feet. My legs felt like jelly. I was in Intensive Care, so I figured my attempt was a near-success. I didn’t and still don’t remember what happened to me, immediately after I tried to kill myself. Bubbly nurse came back into the room and handed me a scrap of paper. There was a phone number written on it, for my local mental health crisis team. “Here’s the number the psych doctor promised you.” What a joke. Even I knew more phone numbers of organisations to call for support. And what’s more, that knowledge didn’t save me from myself. What did they think a scrap of paper, with one solitary phone number scribbled on it would do? Continue reading


Hello Darkness, My Old Friend: Part Two



“I’ve been there, Caroline. I’ve been there.” My Dad repeated, his voice heavy with tears. My body felt like it was made of lead. I lifted my hand to my face. I had a breathing tube in my nose. It was tight around my face. I had canulas in both my wrists, and my left foot. The creases behind my elbows were bruised and punctured. Whoever had inserted the canulas, had obviously had a tough battle with my veins. Above my head, monitors beeped and pulsed. My left forefinger burned. I looked at it and saw that I had an oxygen monitor tightly clamped onto it. I felt naked. An ill fitting hospital gown covered the last shred of dignity I had left. Flashbacks of doctors and tubes and nurses flooded my brain. I lost consciousness again. Continue reading

Guest Blogger: Moody May


Hi everyone and Happy New Year.

In my last post, I asked for fellow bloggers to write a guest post for Silent D And Me. I received a response from May of Moody May. I apologise May, for the delay in publishing your post. Thank you for sharing your experiences with myself and my readers.

I’ll hand you over to May. Please go over to her blog and send her some love.

Hey there. My name is May, and I am a 25 years-old female who currently resides in California, U.S.A. I am a call center agent during the week and an artist on the weekends. I have had a very nice life (by “normal” standards), but I have been struggling with mental illnesses since I was a child.

I have been diagnosed with and am treating for Bipolar Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Panic Disorder, Attention Deficit Disorder, and Agoraphobia. I take a variety of medications for those illnesses, which has stabilized me (for the most part). Without the medications I am utterly dysfunctional (such as the time I voluntarily checked myself into a psychiatric hospital).  

According to the National Institute of Mental Healthdepression affects 18% of the population in the United States alone, so I’m sure many can relate to this post.  

So, how do I, personally, cope with the effects of these mental illnesses? I am currently treating with a psychiatrist and take psychiatric medications prescribed by said psychiatrist, I use lavender essential oil or Nag Champa incense to calm myself, practice breathing techniques, meditate (when I am able), and sometimes just force myself to do something.  

I am interested to know what helps YOU. Please comment below what helps you deal with any psychiatric conditions you may have! 

Photo by Carli Jeen, courtesy of Unsplash