For those of you who remember me and Silent D, we’re back. Yep, even Silent D is very much alive and kicking – me in the backside!
For those of you who don’t remember us, here’s a little background:
I started a blog named Silent D And Me back in May 2015. The blog centred around my battle with Depression. I wrote rather candidly about my struggle with the eponymous Silent D, and her army of relatives; mainly her sister Stress, and her cousin Suicide.
I have first hand experience with suicidal thoughts and attempts, and I’ve also lost a relative to suicide. I started writing the blog as a way of raising awareness, and getting all the horrible stuff off my chest.
Fast forward to around September 2015, and you will find me hitting the delete button on Silent D And Me.
I called time on the blog, because I didn’t feel that what I had to say (or write) was of any interest to anyone. I convinced myself that my blog was rubbish, and it wasn’t doing what it was supposed to do; nor would it ever do. Nobody would notice it had gone, and more to the point, nobody would care.
Well I was wrong. Surprisingly, people did notice the mysterious disappearance of Silent D And Me. I received messages from friends during their lowest points, asking where my blog was. It appeared that they wanted to read what I had written, when my words were most relevant to their lives.
My response was to brush off the deletion of the blog with a blase, “oh the blog. Yeah I deleted it. It was a pile of shit, and I’m an absolute failure. Lol.”( Note the addition of “lol” at the end of the sentence I was beating myself up with. Typical old me.)
While I got busy making myself busy, to stop the all-consuming thoughts of “this would make a good blog post,” life decided it would show me what a mistake I’d made in deleting my blog – in the form of one of my friends making a serious attempt on her life.
Thankfully, she didn’t succeed. But she’s not yet out of the woods. She sustained some very serious injuries, and she has a very long, tough road ahead of her. But she’s still here. And I’m so glad she is.
I won’t let myself off the hook for not being someone my friend felt she could speak to about how she was feeling. She doesn’t know about my blog, past or present and I can’t help feeling that if she did, she’d realise that beneath my jokey, happy exterior, lies someone who truly understands. When she’s feeling ready to heal her emotional injuries, I’ll introduce her to Silent D And Me.
So yet again, the thief that is suicide has reared it’s ugly head in my life.
It’s time for me to take up arms, once more. I hope Silent D and Co are ready for this.