New Year’s Eve And The 4 ‘R’s


New Year’s Eve has arrived, and with it comes the 4 ‘R’s:Reflection,Renewal,Resolutions and Refreshments. Lots of Refreshments.

This is how ‘normal’ people observe New Year’s Eve isn’t it? Sitting in their comfortable homes, surrounded by the people they love, stuffing canapes and champagne down their necks and jokingly berating themselves, for signing up to the local gym last January and giving up after 6 weeks. The New Year’s Eve watchword for them is “New Year, New Me.”

Jools Holland finishes his last jazz piano number of the year, to allow Big Ben to take centre stage. Glasses are refilled, and the air is heavy with a mixture of anticipation and emotion. Finally Big Ben chimes his funereal countdown. At the last 5 strokes, everyone in the room begins chanting in unison. 5…4…3….2….1! Happy New Year! The scream. The sound is accompanied by ching chinging of glasses, and maybe even a marriage proposal.

On the TV screen, fireworks burst out in glorious Technicolor, and an upbeat dance track booms out; its lyrics informing us that the world is our oyster and we can achieve all our dreams in this new year.

Then comes Auld Lang Syne. We hold hands, and sing about old acquaintances not being forgot and left behind, while simultaneously forgetting them.

The Other 4 ‘R’s of New Year’s Eve

But what if this isn’t a description of your New Year’s Eve? What if you’re one of the many people out there who can’t face New Year’s Eve, and everything that comes with it?

What if your New Year’s Eve consists of a modest dinner, with a glass of something strong to help you sleep through next door’s fireworks, followed by an early night? What if the sound of Big Ben’s chimes induces feelings of horror and dread in the pit of your stomach? What if even the sight of Jools Holland tinkling his ivories on national TV doesn’t tempt you away from your bed?

What if you simply can’t bear the thought of having to go through another year of financial struggle, loss, rejection and depression?

What if you’ve lost someone you love this year, and you’re wrestling with the guilt at moving into a new year without them?

What if your New Year’s Eve 4 ‘R’s are Regret, Reclusive, Restless and Run Down? Well, you’ve come to the right place.

My recommended New Year’s Eve ‘R’ is to Reach Out. I’ve taken the liberty of listing some helplines below, which will all be manned tonight by people who make it their business to care.

Even if you have to dial that number from your bed, do it. I can’t guarantee that the phone call will change your life, but I can say that it’ll be the best thing you’ll have done this year.

Please don’t suffer in silence. Pick up the phone and speak to someone – anyone.

Helpline in the UK (taken from the NHS Choices website)


Confidential support for people experiencing feelings of distress or despair.

Phone: 116 123 (free 24-hour helpline)



Young suicide prevention society.

Phone: HOPElineUK 0800 068 4141 (Mon-Fri,10am-5pm & 7pm-10pm. Weekends 2pm-5pm)



Advice on dealing with domestic violence.

Phone: 0808 2000 247 (24-hour helpline)


Alcoholics Anonymous

Phone: 0845 769 7555 (24-hour helpline)


Narcotics Anonymous

Phone: 0300 999 1212 (daily until midnight)


Gamblers Anonymous


Cruse Bereavement Care

Phone: 0844 477 9400 (Mon-Fri, 9am-5pm)


Rape Crisis

Phone: 0808 802 9999 (daily, 12pm-2.30pm, 7pm-9.30pm)


Victim Support

Phone: 0845 30 30 900 (Mon-Fri, 9am-8pm. Weekends, 9am-7pm)



Phone: 0845 634 1414 (Mon-Thurs, 1.30pm-4.30pm)


OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) Action

Support for people with obsessive compulsive disorder. Includes information on treatment and online resources.

Phone: 0845 390 6232 (Mon-Fri, 9.30am-5pm)



A charity run by people with OCD, for people with OCD. Includes facts, news and treatments.

Phone: 0845 120 3778 (Mon-Fri, 9am-5pm)


No Panic

Voluntary charity offering support for sufferers of panic attacks and OCD. Offers a course to help overcome your phobia/OCD. Includes a helpline.

Phone: 0844 967 4848 (daily, 10am-10pm)


Anxiety UK

Charity providing support if you’ve been diagnosed with an anxiety condition.

Phone: 08444 775 774 (Mon-Fri, 9.30am-5.30pm)


Helplines in the US (taken from the Healthy Place website)

  • Adolescent Suicide Hotline
  • Adolescent Crisis Intervention & Counseling Nineline
  • AIDS National Hotline
  • CHADD-Children & Adults with Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder
  • Child Abuse Hotline
  • Cocaine Help Line
    1-800-COCAINE (1-800-262-2463)
  • Domestic Violence Hotline
  • Domestic Violence Hotline/Child Abuse
    1-800-4-A-CHILD (800 422 4453)
  • Drug & Alcohol Treatment Hotline
  • Ecstasy Addiction
  • Eating Disorders Center
  • Family Violence Prevention Center
  • Gay & Lesbian National Hotline
    1-888-THE-GLNH (1-888-843-4564)
  • Gay & Lesbian Trevor HelpLine SuicidePrevention
  • Healing Woman Foundation (Abuse)
  • Help Finding a Therapist
    1-800-THERAPIST (1-800-843-7274)
  • Incest Awareness Foundation
    1-888 -547-3222
  • Learning Disabilities – (National Center For)
  • Missing & Exploited Children Hotline
  • National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI)
    1-800-950-NAMI (6264)
  • Panic Disorder Information Hotline
    800- 64-PANIC
  • Post Abortion Trauma
  • Project Inform HIV/AIDS Treatment Hotline
  • Rape (People Against Rape)
  • Rape, Abuse, Incest, National Network (RAINN)
    1-800-656-HOPE (1-800-656-4673)
  • Runaway Hotline
  • Self-Injury (Information only)
    (NOT a crisis line. Info and referrals only)
    1-800-DONT CUT (1-800-366-8288)
  • Sexual Assault Hotline
  • Sexual Abuse – Stop It Now!
  • STD Hotline
  • Suicide Prevention Lifeline
  • Suicide & Crisis Hotline
  • Suicide Prevention – The Trevor HelpLine
    (Specializing in gay and lesbian youth suicide prevention).
  • IMAlive-online crisis chat
  • Teen Helpline
  • Victim Center
    1-800-FYI-CALL (1-800-394-2255)
  • Youth Crisis Hotline


Hello….. Again!


For those of you who remember me and Silent D, we’re back. Yep, even Silent D is very much alive and kicking – me in the backside!

For those of you who don’t remember us, here’s a little background:

I started a blog named Silent D And Me back in May 2015. The blog centred around my battle with Depression. I wrote rather candidly about my struggle with the eponymous Silent D, and her army of relatives; mainly her sister Stress, and her cousin Suicide.

I have first hand experience with suicidal thoughts and attempts, and I’ve also lost a relative to suicide. I started writing the blog as a way of raising awareness, and getting all the horrible stuff off my chest.

Fast forward to around September 2015, and you will find me hitting the delete button on Silent D And Me.

I called time on the blog, because I didn’t feel that what I had to say (or write) was of any interest to anyone. I convinced myself that my blog was rubbish, and it wasn’t doing what it was supposed to do; nor would it ever do. Nobody would notice it had gone, and more to the point, nobody would care.

Well I was wrong. Surprisingly, people did notice the mysterious disappearance of Silent D And Me. I received messages from friends during their lowest points, asking where my blog was. It appeared that they wanted to read what I had written, when my words were most relevant to their lives.

My response was to brush off the deletion of the blog with a blase, “oh the blog. Yeah I deleted it. It was a pile of shit, and I’m an absolute failure. Lol.”( Note the addition of “lol” at the end of the sentence I was beating myself up with. Typical old me.)

While I got busy making myself busy, to stop the all-consuming thoughts of “this would make a good blog post,” life decided it would show me what a mistake I’d made in deleting my blog – in the form of one of my friends making a serious attempt on her life.

Thankfully, she didn’t succeed. But she’s not yet out of the woods. She sustained some very serious injuries, and she has a very long, tough road ahead of her. But she’s still here. And I’m so glad she is.

I won’t let myself off the hook for not being someone my friend felt she could speak to about how she was feeling. She doesn’t know about my blog, past or present and I can’t help feeling that if she did, she’d realise that beneath my jokey, happy exterior, lies someone who truly understands. When she’s feeling ready to heal her emotional injuries, I’ll introduce her to Silent D And Me.

So yet again, the thief that is suicide has reared it’s ugly head in my life.

It’s time for me to take up arms, once more. I hope Silent D and Co are ready for this.